By: Ward Gossett
For close to five hours Wednesday, Chris Bono had nothing to do but drive and fly and think as he went from one wrestling clinic to another.
The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga coach hasn’t yet made it home after last weekend’s loss at the U.S. Olympic team trials in Las Vegas.
He flew from Las Vegas to Atlanta and then drove to the Tallahassee, Fla., area to work a camp. Wednesday he was back in the car driving to Atlanta to catch a flight for St. Louis and another one-day clinic.
“I’ve got a bag of dirty clothes and a lot of thinking to do,” said Bono, who came within a win of wrestling for a berth in the Olympic Games.
“It’s tough whenever I’m alone,” he said of the loss that might have been the last match of his career. “It is always on my mind ” not so much what I could have done but how close I was. Everything fell into place. The training was perfect and I felt perfect. It was all right there.
“I am a realist so I don’t rationalize the loss. I got beat. I’m not going to the Olympics. I was devastated right then and there, but seeing the devastation on the faces of those who have supported me, I don’t know how to describe it.”
His wife, Niki, was at a loss for words, too.
“My heart stopped,” she said. “I wanted to hug him, but I couldn’t find any words at that moment that would have helped.”
The 34-year-old Bono, a three-time U.S. World championships team member, is torn on whether to continue competing.
“I’m going to enjoy my summer and my family,” he said. “The girls are playing softball and I have the wrestling camps. But is that it? Where do I go? It’s rough emotionally, but you have to get back on the horse. Something I have learned is that if you let it keep you down, it’s going to ruin your life.
“Normally I’d get back to work in the wrestling room and look for the next competition. That’s not happening right now.”
Bono, who has guided UTC to consecutive conference championships and who has produced at least one All-American in each of his two years as the Mocs’ head coach, hasn’t known what the average guy would perceive to be a normal life in years.
There were times when he was home 12 days of each month in his quest to be a world champion. Even this year and despite training at home, Bono would rise early to get in a morning run and return home after dark because of extra workouts that often followed team practices.
“Heading into this year, I was 85 percent sure I was done. Now I’m probably 50-50,” he said. “Do I want to continue to do the things necessary to be around the best in the world? My life has been normal for me because that’s all I have ever known, but I’m thinking I’d like to enjoy life as a normal person.”
He said he feels he has reached a crossroad. While he feels he can continue to compete successfully on national and international levels, the desire to be with his family and to experience another lifestyle is almost overwhelming. He has entertained thoughts of competing in triathlons even as he looks at a calendar and contemplates whether to circle dates for next year’s U.S. Open and the world team trials.
“My experiences have all been positive. The only negative is that I didn’t accomplish my goal,” he said. “The positives are the type person I have become and how much I have learned from my profession. I can tell you I’m a better person, a better wrestler, a better coach, a better husband, son, friend and father because of the process and the lessons I have learned from trying to be the best in the world.”
Those experiences have caused him to look beyond his personal quest and view those close to him in a different light.
“It isn’t about me anymore. It isn’t about people making sacrifices for me anymore,” he said. “It’s about me making sacrifices for others, and that’s directed toward my family which has made more sacrifices than I could ever repay. I didn’t think it would be this hard to make a decision. I thought I’d be able to walk away.”
Niki already has urged Chris to continue his quest.
“I don’t know that I want him to retire. I’d hate to see it end like this, because he is in the best shape of his life and he still loves the competition,” she said. “I enjoy watching him compete and coach, and I will always be proud of him because of his dedication.
“I hear him say things about sacrifices and it breaks my heart. I want things for him. Sure, we’ve passed up family vacations at times and even eating as a family at McDonald’s. This wasn’t just a dream of his, but of ours. Chris is very driven person and it makes him a wonderful person, parent and father, and I’ve enjoyed every second of it.
“He certainly hasn’t failed. He has accomplished so much in the sport of wrestling and we are so proud of him, and I think he realizes that.”
That endorsement and his experiences make Bono’s decision even tougher because he can’t satisfy himself with being one of the best.
He already has decided to meet with administrators at USA Wrestling, which has supported him over the years, to get their input, but as he mulled aloud the pros and cons of walking away or continuing, Bono likely answered his inner turmoil.
“I wanted to be the best in the world. I still want to be the best in the world,” he said.
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