Autistic senior conquers obstacles to be one of the guys for Scorpions
By Ron Cassie
Oakland Mills High School is known for its diverse population, its supportive community and its hard-nosed student-athletes accustomed to overcoming difficult circumstances. Despite being the smallest of 11 public high schools in the county, Oakland Mills regularly competes for league titles in many sports.
This year’s wrestling team, led by returning county champs Antonio Josiah and Sean Kendig, is a typical example. Josiah immigrated here from Ghana and had never wrestled before entering Oakland Mills. He is on track for a second county title at 135 pounds.
Kendig, also a senior, is a two-time defending county champ who suffered a near career-ending arm injury in the preseason. He kept training throughout his recovery and now has battled to a 7-0 start after missing two months of action.
But even among this group, 6-foot-2, 225-pound Bryan Parent stands out. The first-year wrestler won maybe the most important varsity match of the year for the Scorpions.
He is also autistic.
Rookie wrestler
Parent is in head coach Brad Howell’s life skills math class at Oakland Mills, and had been mostly wrestling junior varsity and exhibition matches prior to the Scorpions’ Dec. 23 bout with Centennial.
It’s a meet his family had planned to miss because of holiday flight reservations. Instead, with Josiah, Kendig and others out with injuries, Howell told Parent’s mother, Tracy, that the team needed Bryan to avoid a forfeit at heavyweight.
Ahead by three points with just three weight classes remaining, Centennial quietly juggled its lineup, bumping a wrestler up to face the inexperienced Parent.
Knowing the match would turn on his performance, Howell got in Parent’s face as the team formed the traditional tunnel to send him out.
“I stood on his toes and gave him the plan, “Howell recounted. “Don’t shoot, wait till he shoots. Then sprawl (drop his legs back), squash him (press him down to the mat), get behind him, spin him, and then cross face-cradle.
“When he repeated it back to me just as I said it, I knew that’s what he would do.”
His mom couldn’t watch.
“I had my head between my knees and was trying to take deep breaths, “she said. “I was so thrilled they had taken him on the team; the last thing I wanted was for him to be a hindrance and let them down.”
Thirty-three seconds later, Parent, who is also eligible to wrestle next year, had the first pin of his career.”
“The crowd went nuts, “Howell said.
So did his teammates.
“We were coming off losses to Wilde Lake and Hammond right before and we needed that win, “said Eric Okurowski, Oakland Mills’ 189-pounder. “Bryan’s win was the difference in the match; it turned the momentum around.”
“It was the best Christmas gift I ever received, “Tracy Parent said.
For Bryan, who is 17 and lives in Ellicott City with his family, wrestling for “The Mill “has done nothing less than change his life.
“Wrestling for Bryan has been huge, “said Tracy Parent, who is the disability awareness coordinator of Howard County. “He is doing things now that when he was younger you never would have believed were possible. The difference in him since he started wrestling is incredible. He has a sense of humor; he’s become very social. He talks about wrestling and the guys on the team all the time.”
Bryan was diagnosed at 18 months old as falling near profoundly autistic on the diagnosis scale and later as slightly mentally retarded as well.
His development in speech and in social and communication skills was very slow until he reached elementary school age, his mother said. The military family moved quite a bit when he was younger, but when they found good schools in Texas and in California, Bryan made noticeable progress.
When he started four years ago at Oakland Mills, home to the area’s regional program for challenged students, Bryan’s math and reading skills continued to improve, but he still had some behavior issues and hadn’t really found a team event or anything through Special Olympics that was right for him.
Wrestling would seem the last sport ideally suited for any autistic person, because almost all have a severe aversion to physical contact. And, at first, Bryan did, too.
“He didn’t even like when someone poked him with a finger or bumped him in the hallway before he started wrestling, “his mother said. “He didn’t like the contact in soccer.”
But in Howell’s class, Bryan began to express an interest in wrestling. Howell, who has been teaching special education and life skills at Oakland Mills for seven years, hadn’t attempted to get one of the students from his program out for the team since his first year when two students had less than productive outcomes. But Howell had learned something from the experience.
“I had learned how to prepare Bryan, “he said.
New friends
Howell suggested Parent start with Oakland Mill’s Orange Crush club team which meets twice a week after school in the spring and fall.
Josiah and Mohammed Fraz, the Scorpions’ 171-pounder, were two of the first Oakland Mills wrestlers to become buddies with him.
“I was kind of surprised he wanted to wrestle at first, “said Josiah, who is also a peer assistant. “But he loves it. He doesn’t get everything exactly right every time, but who does? For a first-year wrestler he’s doing as well as anyone. He’s one of us.”
“Jo-Jo, “as Josiah is nicknamed, “is my best friend, “Bryan Parent said. Then he quickly runs right down through the team roster, “Sean Kendig, Eric Okurowski, Tony Chadwick, Greg Salvucci, Danny Sayer, Kyle Roth, Jeremy Askew, Kevin Klink and Mohammed Fraz are all my friends.”
As Bryan made steady progress, Howell suggested the Oakland Mills summer wrestling camp. After that, he figured with more club wrestling and one-on-one work with special education instructional assistant and wrestling coach Michael Prymas, he might be ready.
“But we never knew how he’d respond against someone who wasn’t a friend or coach, “Prymas said. “That’s what’s been incredible. If he losses, he accepts it and listens to what he has to do to get better. And he wants to get back to work.”
Overall, Bryan has five pins this winter, plus several forfeit victories and half a dozen or so defeats which haven’t taken anything away from an extraordinary season.
Tracy Parent recalls a tournament match earlier this year. Her son lost, but had wrestled well.
“The referee came over to us afterwards. He was all choked up and his eyes were misting. He said that he had a son with a disability and that he wasn’t ever going to think he wasn’t capable of doing something again, “she said. “And I knew what he meant, I’m in the field and I tell parents all the time not to lower their expectations, but mine were guarded, too, before all this. Other people aren’t there with you during the lonely moments and the teasing. It’s hard and it’s tiring.”
Key role
What Howell will tell you and his team – each one of them – is that anything they have done to help Bryan, doesn’t compare to what he has done for them.
“Initially, I thought we’d have to take care of him, “said Chadwick, a senior and the team’s 145-pounder. “But he’s held up his end and made a contribution. The biggest thing he does is keep people in check with his happiness. You can’t stay sad or down around him. He keeps the team morale high.”
Or as Howell says, his team has grown up around Bryan.
“These are the cool kids, the ‘warriors of the hallways’ and they like him because he’s fun to be around, “the coach said. “Okurowski will lift weights with him and show him when he’s doing something wrong. They’re like big brothers around Bryan and they all matured because of him.”
Perhaps the Oakland Mills wrestlers are learning along the way that perceptions and potential are not the limitations they appear to be.
“We’ve definitely helped Bryan, but he’s helped out the team, too, “Okurowski said. “I never thought before the season that I’d be hanging out with a special ed kid, but he calls my name out in the hallway during school when he sees me and he jokes around. He’s just another guy in the room. Looking back, coach Howell made a good decision. He’s just a normal kid. He’s normal.”
E-mail Ron Cassie at [email protected].
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